Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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