found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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