Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize