just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Your dad touched me again.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize