We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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