He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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