the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Sacagawea was the original milf.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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