Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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