my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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