Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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