In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
