ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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