Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
