we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
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he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
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I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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