erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
