Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
