I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
