don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
