I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
