i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
