last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
