On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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