my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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