In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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