Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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