You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
