I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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