Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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