Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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