I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
