I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
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I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
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My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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