i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize