Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
