ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
