oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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