it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
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I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
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