Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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