I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
