hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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