how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
