There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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