It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
