fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Randomize
