The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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