Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
