just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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