...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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