Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
