so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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