So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I need a burrito and a hug.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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