Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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