My brain says no but my pants say off.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
