and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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