I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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