Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
