grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I think your dad took our porno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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