it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
