whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
