office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
