Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I need a beard to bite.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
