Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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