Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
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she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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