Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
