Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
